BYE BLOGSPOT...
hi...this entry is for everyone..
just to say i am no longer going to write in this blog liao..
i have found greener pastures..haha
however as it has become shocking to me that a lot more people read into my personal life than i would want it to happen....
i have decided not to publish my new blog address here...
haha if u r taking it personally then it means i mean sth to you so you wanna read about you so this doesnt apply to u la
hahah dunno what i rambling about ...
once i get my new blog space settled, organized etc then i may publish the address..
meanwhile...thanks for taking the time out to read about me here..
tata...
the most impt thing i wanna end off on a good note here is .......
GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME
walking away is the only answer...
a relationship is a committment..
it is not entirely based on feelings.. esp when making a decision to let go...
on the first yr...everything is perfect...
the person appears perfect ..full of strengths and little weakness..
a few yrs down the road..
weaknesses become magnified..
and strengths become obscured..
when that happens...
what do we do?
rely on our feelings?
run away becoz 'its just too hard'?
i am a firm believer of committment ....
and i feel that is what God wants to teach all of us
tempations come and go all the time
and when they come .... they appear perfect.. thats why they are called temptations what
it only takes a mature man of God to know if that temptation, that 'perfect' person would stay perfect a few yrs down the road..
it takes maturity to know what is it we really want out of any relationship..
it takes maturity to discern if it is or not the right thing to do
it takes maturity to rely not just on our feelings.... esp when it comes to letting go and walking away...
sometimes we pray every single day
we lift up our hands to praise Him..
and yet at the same time we are sinning unaware...
the worser thing is...
to sin aware ..taking the presence of God for granted..
God is everywhere..
He sees our every intention
is your intention Godly?
or are you attending the house of God for a different intention ...
confess your sins today ...
repent and God would forgive....
you are not like me at all ...
i would never have done such a thing...never...
we can make all kinds of reasons....feelings ....haha..i wanna laugh...
ultimately...only God knows...
i will not grief the Holy Spirit
even in the quietness and darkness of the night when its so easy to cry and say i forgive... come back ....we can start all over...when the feeling of loneliness becomes magnified....
i will not be tempted by the terrors of the night..
i will not . i still love and care so much .....but all these have been in vain..taken for granted ....
you have forgotten the love that we share
and walking away thought heart wrenching is the only way ....
you will never find perfection and easiness in relationships..
it would always be hard...
how i look at it..?
i look at the joy it also brings in hardtimes...
i look at hardtimes as lessons to learn during the 4yrs...
running away and hiding is not the solution...
it is not....
i will not grief the holy spirit...
man can fail us..but God would never ever fail us ....
rollercoaster night
tonight is my last night in sydney before flying back to singapore..
i laid in bed unable to sleep....tristan laying fast asleep and snoring...
i realised i needed to get some telephone numbers of people in singapore to call as i do not have my sim card ....
that was the end of the peace of the night ..
i chanced upon things that hurt me inside out..
betrayal, hurt, frustration, anger, sadness, disappointment, confusion and basically madness happened all in a span of 3-4hrs...
i cried so many tears and lost my voice...
but yet u still really love him ...
i had been very confused the past week ...
i keep finding reasons to make myself feel like a breakup was necessary ...
i stated reasons in my previous blog entries..reasons which i had i had to crack my brain to think..reason that didnt even occur to me before the breakup....i didnt even really know why it happened....
i felt so unsettled...
i knew there was something more behind his sudden change of attitude and decision ..
i knew it...a woman's instinct or a Godly instinct...
everything happens according to God's plan and purpose....
everything was meant to happen to teach both of us something...
then finally the picture is not so confusing anymore..
i didnt have to find reasons to rationalize the sudden change in attitude and behavior anymore..
becoz i have found the main reason ...
its amazing how people can know the word of God and yet not be able to put it to practice..
but its only natural..
we are not God ....
we are Man..and man is not perfect..
i know he is not perfect and i am not either....
and tt is why we often make sacrifices for each other ...
everything ended well ....
i was surprised....
because i was so so angry to begin with
i never felt so angry before..
we prayed together...
God is good all the time
whatever the future holds...
let it be according to His will...
Lord,
Help me to forgive the party involve...
give me strength to carry on ...
give me wisdom and your grace to know what step to take and what choice to make...
For only you can be the answer to every problem ...
