random thots
dear BloggieThank God for yee may's prayer today. For once in this whole struggling semester, i was able to pour out my heart's struggles and become broken before God. This is a struggling semester for me mainly due to my research delay and mainly becoz i felt like i have no support system here. Everyone who was part of my support system in semester 1 have either gone back to malaysia or have been mutiplied into other cell groups or have backslided. I have been having difficulty trusting God for the past few weeks as my prayers have seem to go unanswered. Or maybe my mind is too distracted to be able to listen to His voice. Whatever it is, i have not given up on God becos I have seen how my life has turned around because He entered into my life 6yrs ago. Even though i had to take the extreme measure of complaining to the head of school in Curtin before finally being able to collect my data, i still believe God has a purpose in this. This semester has tested me mentally and psychologically in several ways and i thank God in advance for his promises. Today i broke down before yee may (my zone supervisor) and it touched me that she cried together with me. I felt like she understood what i had gone thru. Everyoen else seems to think its a bed of roses for me with no tests, assignments or exams this semester. To everyone else, they do not understand what it takes to write a thesis and how depressing and traumatising it can get to wait continually for several weeks to mths on 1 person to allow data collection to occur. Yee May's prayer was a prayer in my heart to God that i cannot seem to verbalise myself. This shows that in difficult times, God will send people to bring us back on path. I also served in usher today and saw so many new faces that i hadnt seen 4 weeks ago before i went to msia, praise the Lord. =) Ushering was a challenge today. Had many chairs to move out of the rows and carry to the back of the church. There were also not enough ushers today hence each of us had to cover more than the usual number of rows before church began and during the offering. Today a friend of mine has totally made me confused. She said she will be serving today and i even gave her a wake up call at 715am which she answered. After that all calls or sms to her had not been answered even up til now 430pm. I dun understand. She hasnt been attending church and cell due to work and school committments. But today she has no work nor sch stuff to rush and yet she didnt show up and didnt provide any warning to the usher in charge whom she promised to come. I dun understand....furthermore we were once quite close. But now its always hot and cold from her side. I dunno whats wrong and when i see her, its like she has no problem and talks normally. So i dun understand. Is there a problem? quite alot of people ask me in church today abt her and i tot they shld noe better since i was in msia. she says shes usually ill on sunday or cant sleep well the night before. For a few weeks consistently ? but she is a firm believer in God. So how do i approach her or talk to her now? that aside, i had a good indonesian lunch w yeemay and mingchoon (my ex cell leader). Then not feeling totally full, we had yummy baskin robbins icecream. I love australia chocolate..so yummy....=)..
posted by Ng Yashi @ 6:03 pm
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