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prayer reflection

Today I felt moved to research the bible about prayer. In cell 1 week ago, I had the honor to share about my own testimony of what prayer means. Today I felt like I needed to remind myself how prayer is important so that I can stay consistent in prayer. It is easy in the midst of work, studies and fun that I put prayer off..i need to remind myself.
In luke 22:41-44 God showed me how Jesus prayed on the mount of olives. “ father if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will, not mine” this verse really impacted me. Even Jesus who was once a man wanted God to take away his suffering because he was feeling so awful. However, Jesus being a man after God’s heart, said that even he wants something, yet he also want God’s will even more. And I think this is what prayer is about. Praying our desires and yet telling God His will is more important to us. Sometimes I struggle w prayer in the sense that I do not know when I am asking for what I want and when I am asking for God’s will. I can pray and say God let your will be done, but upon examination, I think my heart speaks differently. But then God today also showed me this verse in James 4:2 > …the reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it and even when you do ask, you don’t get it because your whole motive is wrong. You want only what will give you pleasure.. I guess it is not wrong to tell God what we want and ask God for it. But we must ask God for them with the right motives. For me the right motive has always been that me or whomever I am praying for will be a light and testimony of God’s goodness. I took some time in reading James 3:14 which talked about bitter jealousy and selfish ambition. Its very easy to just go through it, highlight. But I don’t know why today I just kept reading it over and over. And I just suddenly felt like I probably have selfish ambitions in my heart. Its like wanting something for myself. I cant say specifically because even I don’t know what issit in me that reflects selfish ambition. But I just know that there is. And I pray that God will help me not have any selfish ambitions. Elijah was as human as we are, but when he prayed earnestly for no rain to fall, none fell for the next 3.5 years. Then when he prayed again for rain, rain came. I wish and hope that I can be a person like Elijah, who can understand what praying earnestly means and to pray earnestly…

posted by Ng Yashi @ 4:08 pm