why do i allow little things frustrate me
today was a full day at work in subway. Work was very relaxing surprisingly. Comparing to usual thursdays, today was unusual hee. worked from 1130 to 5pm but was up since 7am . Quite tired initially but a good cup of hot mocha double shot from muffin break was a real energy booster! Lee my supervisor asked me if i was bogged down by assignments and school , which caught me by surprise as i did not feel lethargic or anything. I know the last time i saw him i was very tired hence i had v slow responses hee. But today i was ok ..hahaha but one thing i did realise abt myself is tt i am less kan jiong then when i first join subway. Lee is a singaporean also. But his family is in Perth. He presents himself at work as a super gan jiong king. ALways talking fast, rushing, on the move with his hands and feet , always seem to be in danger of knocking someone over but yet so fast on his feet tt he can avoid, swerve and do all kinds of stunts. And this happens even when there are not much customers. I told him before ' lee dun be so gan jiong la' hahaa. Very gutsy of me to tell my supervisor tt ah ..haha...coz i tink he is gan jiong unnecessarily sometimes. And his gan jiong-ness is very infectious. When i stand beside him, i get v anxious for nothing. Well why i shared this story was because i think i have gotten the australian culture of being relaxed . Hahaha...to make it sound bad, its laziness...on a positive note, its just learning how to enjoy life...hahaaa. Now u can often see me squating and eating my double chocolate chip / macademia nut subway cookie whenever i get the chance. But i still dun think i am inefficient or ineffective or being paid for nothing. Coz i still do what i need to do, i still try to stand in the gap for people whenever i can and i do what can be done without being told. Haha...just tt my whole body language is not in a gan jiong stance.After work , i went to do groceries shopping. Intending to cook chicken w red wine and herbs tmr for lunch w X. ( oh yah i forgot to share tt i tried to cook 3 dishes last thursday which was quite a success > sweet fish curry with toasted almonds, fried cauliflower, soy and sesame pork w choy sum ) Every thursday is grocery shopping to cook something special and something i never cook before on friday! hee i really enjoy doing this. I really need to stop being a miser and comparing prices too much . I always see the weight of the item, see if different brands with same weight different price. The brand name is known or not , if the extra price would be worth it or not etc. Hence i can spend a super long time in the super market. like such an auntie already. Not even housewife yet. Aiyaaa....tsktsk. hence today i missed my bus to go home because i did not leave enough time to walk from the supermarket to the bus stop. I am always very good with time, i can plan well ahead what time i need to leave a place etcetc. but today the cashier made me wait for 5mins before she cld serve me. 5 mins is a long time as i had not put it in my plan to walk to the bus stop.heeeee...oh well... Haizz...by the time i reach the bus stop, it was gone or either tt, it never came ( perth transport suckssssss) anyway there was not one soul at the busstop. I had to get help from Mingchoon who got help from his brother mingxian. Aiyo, i hate to trouble people. in perth, always need to trouble those who drive. Feel bad.
Anyway its a blessing to know these selfless people. Anyway why do i put the blog entry title as such is because, i had allowed the fact tt i missed the bus to frustrate me. When X called, i was quite grouchy and i felt bad . But knowing myself, i know the way out of blowing it on anyone is to avoid talking altogether. I guess all this comes with age and experience. A few yrs ago, when i was less self aware and ironically self centred, i would have just put my frustration on someone close. . Furthermore, at the back of my mind, i knew i wld find a way out of it and i knew i wld be able to get someone to fetch me. Still i got frustrated. and although i didnt bang my frustration on X, i tink anyone cld have sense the displeasure of the situation in my voice. Hence i may have also caused a bit of 'yuan wang' feeling in X and X probably feel bad for not being able to help me. Which i totally dun think is anybody else's fault except mine and transperth.Now i am able to rationalize very quickly what the roots of my frustration are and how i can avoid unnecessarily hurting someone close. But i am still upset w myself tt i had even got frustrated in the first place at something so small Haaa...Lord help me to be a more patient person, not easily frustrated by circumstances not entirely within my control. As it says in the bible, be slow to anger...quick to forgive. Small things will not frustrate me in Jesus name . Amen !!!!!
posted by Ng Yashi @ 11:28 pm
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