Treating our partners like our best friends
This abstract is adapted from the book "Every woman's battle : discovering God's plan for sexual and emotional fulfillment" by Shannon Ethridge." ..I used to go to bed expecting that my husband would talk with me for a while, not just about superficial stuff, but really engage in deep conversation. Even though I had heard psychologists explain that a man is capable of speaking only so many words each day and that they are almost all used up by the time He gets home from work, I thought i could drag it out of him. Needless to say, I usually went to sleep disappointed. SOmetimes i went to sleep devastated, as I was trying to carry on a meaningful conversation and the only response I ultimately got once i stopped talking was "ZZZZzzzzz." ...Squirrel and nut theory..rather than talk, I would simply say goodnight and allow him to drift off to sleep.........By letting go of your expectations for your husbands to meet your emotional needs and redirecting your focus on meeting his needs instead, you are serving him. In this way, his desire will eventually be to serve you as well. He'll recognize your desire to meet his needs and that desire will be contagious.....When i speak of serving your husband......Im referring to serving your husband's needs out of deep love and committed friendship, with no hidden motive and expecting nothing in return. Jesus referred to this type of service in the following passage : " My command is this : Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that (she) lay down (her) life for (her) friends. -John 5:12.13.
.........................." Do i consider my husband my friend?" ......I was expecting my husband to take everything i was dishing out, not realizing that he deserves best-friend treatment and common courtesy as much if not more so than anyone else in my life. I had been like Jekyll and Hyde-oozing smiles and sweetness to everyone outside our home while venting my frustrations on those within it. I've since come to realize that who i really am isn't the shannon the world sees but the person my family sees.
.....Keeping in mind that treating your husband like your best friend means treating him as the grown man that he is rather than as a child....I would complain about how he was dressed and pick out alternative clothes for him when there was nothing wrong with what he was wearing...This mother-son dynamic can kill the desire for intimacy....Your husband didn't marry you so he could have another mother, but so he could have a best friend. If you treat him like the grown man he is, you will foster in him an attitude of mutual respect, appreciation toward you...."
Next entry would be on learning each other's love language.
Why am i writing this into my blog?
Because i felt God saying that good things must be shared. I know friends who are married and may find this useful. I am not married but i feel that the same should go into any relationship where the outcome is marriage. It is always good to learn early. And we are not perfect. Be it a long time member in church, a leader, a lifelong christian, a lover of christ etc..we still need to constantly reevaluate ourselves. Hope this helps someone.
posted by Ng Yashi @ 12:17 pm
2 Comments:
Of cos it's important to treat our partner like our best friend! How to live with them for 70 years if they're not our best friend? :D
wah, i like that book!
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