a week of vision and purpose
im late in updating my blog !It has been a week filled with renewed visions and dreams. Thank God and Sis klessis for stirring up my faith.
Sis Klessis, thank you for being the sheperd of my life. In many ways, you have gone beyond your call of duty because of your love for us and for me. I realised one thing when u shared about how u couldnt tell pastor who loved you in the cellgroup, a person cannot feel loved just because we quietly do so , but we have to demonstrate our love for them through our acts of kindness and words in season. Just like when we reach out to our friends, we have to show them our love through our actions.
Pastor Sun, Pastor Kong, Pastor Lillian, Brother Victor, Sistor Yvonne, Sis Klessis, Brother Isaiah are leaders i know and respect who have been examples of what Love means. These people are reflections of the verse i often love >>1st Corinthians 13:4-7>> Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
sis kless thanks for reminding us that we should never be harsh when we minister or counsel. SInce i entered polytechnic, i have grown to be a very direct person. Someone who can be too direct and blunt at times. Someone who can just shoot my mouth off without thinking of how my words may hurt people. Thank God i didnt realise this character flaw too late. I realised that the same things may be said with more power and impact if i speak sincerely, with a heart of humility and with a gentle tone, not to put anyone down but to want to bring them up. 2nd timothy 2: 24-26 : And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will. This has been the way my leaders have been correcting me and i am thankful because their gentle counsel brought me up from my valleys and brought me to where i am today.
Of coz different leaders have different approaches. Some are gentle, some are harsh at appropriate times. But at all times, whether my leaders are gentle or harsh, i must be submissive to my leaders with Godly fear. I learnt this lesson the difficult way. Haa, before sis klessis, n252 was taken by sis selena for a few months. Sis Selena truly has been sent by God into my life for a purpose. When she was my leader, i couldn't deal well with her harshness and style of leadership. I felt oppressed in every way and condemned. Let me now dwell more about what i learnt from sis selena
condemnation arises from our own pride and low self esteem. Jesus did not come to condemn. I realised that i chose to feel condemned. Nobody made me feel this way. Self esteem is very important. i did not know then who i am in God and where i am going. I was not secure in his love.
everyone of us is here on earth to bring different types of people to the kingdom of God. Sis selena is a light to many many lost rebellious young teens. Teens who have a difficult past, teens with little hope for the future. Her Hipness and ability to click and joke with them at their level makes her the connecting vessel between them and God.
Humility. I regret to say that due to my own childishness, sis selena even apologized to me for how i felt. I was having my outburst and there she was with all humility saying sorry to something she didnt mean to do or didnt do at all. I failed to see that behind that strong voice, here is a woman who truly loves God and love her sheep and love me. Who has sacrificed all of her time and energy to do the works of the Lord. I have sinned against God and against this woman of God by my words and actions. I grieved the Holy Spirit. Be angry but do not SIN god reminded me after the episode. I was angry and i failed to have self control over my emotions. I learned the importance of guarding my heart. Having control over my thoughts and emotions. If i cant control them, then satan can easily plant thoughts to distract me frm the destiny and vision God has planted in me.
Everything we go through in life has a purpose. Every good thing or bad thing that we experience is good for us. I am not proud of this episode but i am glad i went through it. Lets use every experience we go through to minister to others. God did not allow us to go through them without reason, He wants us to use his teachings in our problems and turn them around for good and use what we learn to help others who may go through the same thing. How can we be relevant to the unchurched if we do not have problems. The difference between us and them is that we have God. We have the solution but they dont. I want to bring solutions to them and i believe with all of my heart that i can be a vessel for God.
I had a revelation from romans 6.19. Obey the calling of God and many will be brought to righteousness. When Pastor asked me 1 year back about whether i want to be a leader, i told her not yet. Since that day, i have actually quietly regretted what i said. i felt incompetent in the word of God and in my character and capacity to be a leader. I always had the fear of failure. Fear of misguiding people. Fear of being a bad example. fear of hearing people say " huh, shes a leader from CHC? " u mean a leader is like that? "And i have so many character flaws like not being able to remember names well, not able to quote verses off hand, impatient at times etc. But i know that God is not interested in all these. God just wants a willing heart. God can turn my weaknesses into strengths. I made a vow to God 2days ago abt sth. And i wld be sure to keep to it.
Here i am Lord, use me ...
posted by Ng Yashi @ 5:00 am
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